[…] brother Troy (I talked about him here on my blog) passed away this summer, so I know this shoot was pretty hard but also pretty […]
Sorry for the lack of posting. It’s been a super busy week! I’m pretty far behind in editing and I have a TON of misc. things I need to check of my list. I have my first wedding of the year tomorrow so I’ve also been getting everything ready for that. I’m pretty excited :-)
Oh- before I forget. I need to print somewhat of a retraction from a previous post. You know when I talked about my dad’s teeth and how much they hurt?? And I posted the whole, “Dr. Gordon, if you’re reading this post, please fix my dad’s teeth!!” ok- well I guess he (Dr. Gordon) felt HORRIBLE when he found out about it. Then my dad was upset because he didn’t want Dr. Gordon feeling that (nor do any of us) and he asked me to post a retraction. Hahah! SO….Dr. Gordon- my dad’s aching teeth ARE NOT YOUR FAULT and we don’t blame you in any way shape or form :-) I was telling you that his teeth do hurt him, because I know he won’t tell you, ha! So so so sorry Dr. Gordon- I didn’t mean to make you feel bad. We love coming to your office and we will continue to do so because we have horrible teeth, hahaha!
So yeah- this week as been very busy. Lots of running around but also lots of trying to stay put and catch up on editing. Such a balancing act!
I also had a childhood friend pass away. I’ve known Troy my whole life. We grew up next door to each other, we went to school together, our groupings of friends intersected here and there, our dad’s ran a medical practice together, etc. We grew up together and we grew up in the best neighborhood ever. We all played together almost everyday, we built forts in the wooded areas around our neighborhood, we got yelled at by one lady because our “island” was apparently on her property, we played make believe, we played night games until our parents would call out our names, we would steal toys from each others yards, we had baseball games in my backyard, we had 4th of July parades, we had last day of school parties complete with a slip n slide…we had it good and I believe to made a lot of us into who we are today. Everyone who grew up in our neighborhood holds a special place in their heart for “those days” and loves reminiscing on them. One of the best memories I have of Troy is when he would stay over at our house for sleepovers with my brother and the other neighborhood boys. He was always very excited about my dads pancakes in the morning (as I still am to this day) and he always looked forward to them! He would be giddy with excitement :-) Troy was silly, fun, kind & innocent.
But as we all got older, our free time got shorter and shorter, we didn’t do night games, we were involved in different activities, Troy & his family moved across town and we met new friends once we got to Jr. High & High school. This is when your paths start to take different directions. This is when you start making your own decisions. This is when you change and you start to take control of who you are going to be.
Troy & I ran in different circles, but we always knew each other as old neighborhood friends and we always knew where we stood with each other. I knew Troy. I may not have known what he was doing everyday and I might have gone for weeks, even months without talking to him…but it’s a small town and you always know what everyone is up to. You keep tabs and make small notes in the back of your head. When someone mentions their name is sparks curiosity in your brain. How are they?? What are they doing?? So even though I wasn’t around him near as much as I was when I was younger, I still knew Troy. I feel like when you grew up with someone, you know them for life. Yeah- you grow up and grow apart…but you still know them at their core. You know them at during their pure innocence, before they step out into the real world. You know their heart.
Troy never treated me any differently than he did when we were little. It’s Troy and when I think of him the vision that comes to mind is him, me and Tisha waiting at the bust stop for kindergarten. All of us with our enormous book bags that were almost as big as us. Just waiting and talking about things that are important to a 6 year old. A little nervous about school, but also a little excited. Kindergarten is a big step. New people, new school, new teacher & you get to it all by riding this big yellow bus…that your not buckled into…and there’s a stranger driving it….and your parent’s just stand there and wave. It’s all kinda frightening when you think about it. That’s a lot to take in :-) But everything is always easier when you have your friends with you to go through it. We all survived Kindergarten and then we would bust off the bus at the end of the day, go change and then everyone would come out and play for the rest of the day. It was just a simple, innocent & fun life. That’s the Troy I’ve always known and that’s the Troy I’ll always remember. Troy has always been the nicest guy with the biggest heart.
After going to his visitation tonight, it is very clear that Troy had so many different groups of friends and therefore he will have people mourning is death in many different ways. People will be judgmental of other people’s method of mourning and people will say, “you didn’t know Troy like I did!” and people will make snap remarks about other people’s choices on whether or not to attend his funeral and what not… but you just have to let it be. Stuff like this happens with every death and you just have to let people mourn the way the need to mourn. You never know what the other person is going through. It so incredibly sad that this had to happen. To take such a young life away just seems incomprehensible at times, but…he always has a plan. Troy is in a much better place and I can’t sit here and not be at peace with that. Yes I’m very sad and it breaks my heart, but my faith keeps it all in check. I have great memories of Troy and those are what I think about and reminisce on.
Jen says
You are a wise wise wise woman. My heart is hurtin for all of those who lost loved ones this week. JNo
Kathy says
Very sweet memories, Lissy. Thanks for sharing them with us.
Sara says
It was a very sad thing but you put it perfectly. You have to remember the good times and we were blessed with many of those while growing up in our neighborhood with Troy! He had such a kind heart and it was horrible to see him go so early in life but I guess everything happens for a reason.
Megan Pollard says
Your words are very heartfelt and so very true. This was a beautiful post, Lissy.